An Afternoon of Transformation
Ariel & Shya often talk about how transformation happens when you’re really listening to someone else, because that’s when you take your attention off yourself. It gives me such joy whenever I manage to really listen, because suddenly I notice that I’ve stopped listening to my own (usually negative) internal dialogue. As they say, you can’t do two things at once! And, when I’m not listening to my own thoughts, that’s when I’m in the moment. And when I’m in the moment (instead of in my head), then I’m not working on myself, not being judgment or self-critical. It’s when I’m enlightened!
Here’s a little story to illustrate just that:
Last Sunday I was cycling along the river. My husband Artur, and my brother Jack, were cycling behind me and talking. I was ahead, to be alone but in their company. On the water river-boats floated slowly past us, travelling in the opposite direction.
I didn’t really notice the first few boats, because I was lost in my thoughts. Then I looked up and started to see them. I noticed the people at the helm, steering their boats and gazing out around them at the water and surrounding fields.
Then I remembered that, when you’re cycling or walking along the river, it’s customary to give a little wave to these boat-captains as you pass. In the culture of south England, most forms of uninvited friendliness are neither common nor customary, as we usually maintain stoical silences when travelling in elevators. I like to seize these unusual moments because I know my gesture of friendliness won’t be rejected.
But this time I’d thought about it too much: analysing certainly kills aliveness! So, as a few more boats floated past me, I still didn’t look up; lost now in reflection and fear that maybe this time my little wave might not be returned, but ignored or frowned upon.
A second later I saw the silliness of this self-obsessed fear and I looked up. I smiled and waved at the man who passed on the next boat, and he returned my wave with a smile. For a moment we met, two strangers seeing each other for the first and last time.
Right then I felt my heart open and I was truly happy, just in that tiny moment of intimacy. I slowed down my speed, falling back to be with Artur & Jack as they cycled along. And I spent the rest of the afternoon in their company, and not with my thoughts. It was a very happy Sunday!
-Menna, Cambridge, England.
