Instantaneous Transformation = Awesome!
Hi Friends-
Ariel and Shya often call Transformation the “slack-jawed approach to enlightenment” (where you simply see a mechanical behavior, let your jaw hang and say “huh.”) I had such a great slack-jawed moment the other day and I just have to share it with you all. I had been in a fight with my brother off and on for the last two weeks. It was around the subject of money and not paying bills on time, which historically we have both been very tense and defensive about. We had had a phone call about a particular money situation where I thought I had been very direct and straight forward, but I realized afterwards (with the help of the Kanes and my boyfriend Andy) that I had been condescending and unkind, and was really holding onto being right about my point of view. I apologized to my brother, and things got better between us, but it was still a little shaky and I think there was really a part of me that was not ready to let go of being right.
Then the other day I was handling a bunch of my own projects (which I have been doing with ease and enjoyment since the awesome Transformational Time and Project Management workshop in NY last weekend!), and I came to something that I hadn’t taken care of for a whole year: my 2007 State Taxes. I had only just paid them about a month ago when I was doing my 08 taxes but now there was a big late fee that needed to be paid. Thoughts immediately popped up about how unfair this was, how I didn’t have the money, etc.etc. And then I thought: Wait a sec! It was my responsibility to pay the darn thing on time. I knew when the deadline was. I can’t blame the state of NY for doing this to me just because I don’t like to be told what to do. So immediately I called and made a payment plan, not only for the late fee but for my 08 tax liability as well- so that I don’t have to do this all over again next year!
The satisfaction of handling this project was really great, but what was even more amazing was seeing how my story of myself didn’t fit with the reality. I had portrayed myself as being organized, put-together and on-the-ball when it came to money and I had arrogantly lectured my brother about how he was a mess and needed to be better. What a gift to see that I was not as organized as I had believed, what a gift to see my own mechanical behavior in action, and also at the same time to see how capable I am of turning that ‘no’ into a ‘yes’ and handling what needs to be handled- without drama or self-pity!!
I shared this story with my brother, along with my ability to laugh at myself, and he was so happy to hear it. He was also inspired to handle his own financial situation! I am excited about the possibility of being friends and partners in the future instead of the old pattern of Bossy big sister, Resistant little brother.
Transformation is just so cool. Thank you to Ariel and Shya and to this wonderful wonderful community for giving me the tools and the inspiration to live a brilliant life!
Leah Curney,
Actress, NYC
