Dear friends,

I had noooooo idea…..about the degree to which my upsets where running my life. Not the least idea. I came back from this wonderful workshop in Cambridge with Ariel and Shya and of course I had realized that “something” had happened. I hoped for “something” to be different after my return, but I would never ever have expected such a profound difference.

I came home on Sunday night and the first thing I realized on Monday morning was the trigger of an upset. It was like a little “beep” inside me, something jumping, but then….nothing. A few moments later the next little “beep”. And the day went on like this. I was flabbergasted by the sheer quantity of little triggers throughout the day. I didn’t count but there were MANY of them. And for the first time I understood what Ariel and Shya mean by “mechanic behavior”!!!! Because it just happens at a trigger, but the trigger is no real reason. I used to get upset about a thousand things that are no “real reasons” or justifications to get upset. It hurt a little to see that I have also “considered” my children to be a cause of upset. This week I’ve actually been able to be with my kids and weather through difficult situations without getting upset. It is actually almost a strange feeling. It feels as if I had been drugged or doped. Tranquilizers or something. It’s so funny because there is even a kind of a little man inside myself (I picture it that way) really furious about me not getting upset. And it’s also sometimes even leaving me a little uncertain. I am in a traffic jam. I don’t get upset. What am I going to do??? .

Two events happened that really made me cry. Christian, my husband, came to me yesterday and started talking to me about some renovation work in the house he would like to do. This would have been a supermegatrigger!!!!! A little “beep” but that was it. We spoke about his proposal AND I realized that it is also much easier to express my concerns and put forward my arguments when I am not upset. After we finished, Christian left for work but not without kissing me several times. His RELIEF was sooooo obvious because for once I reacted to the topic without anger…..It was so touching for me. The second thing was that last night when we were about to bring the kids to bed, Christian expressed something that I had realized throughout the afternoon already. He said: I don’t know what it is, but Luise (our daughter) looks particularly pretty today. And he was soooo right. She has full cheeks with that nice little color and she is really shining. Needless to say that the kids have been very relaxed these last couple of days.

I could keep on writing to you all about all the beautiful things that happened this week. I can’t tell you often enough how grateful and humble I feel for what has happened to me. I have heard Ariel and Shya say often that people can’t imagine what is possible for them just because they can’t imagine what they don’t know. I did not believe it. Now I do. Full stop.

Wishing you a wonderful day, wherever you are,

Uli (from Colgne)

This entry was posted on Monday, July 26th, 2010 at 9:25 am and is filed under Communication, Instantaneous Transformation, Listening Skills, Living in the Moment, Parenting Skills, Relationships & Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.