Archive for the ‘Intimacy’ Category

The Diamond of Today

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

Today, as I was sitting on the train, reading a journal, I happened to look up and find myself looking directly and deeply into the eyes of a man facing me from a row away. It was a long moment of warmth and it filled my whole body, like there was a sun inside me, and it started to shine and warm me from the inside. I could not stop smiling and looked around a bit stupidly. The man also seemed to be unusually awake. I was quite shocked about my reaction, as my whole body seemed really large and warm- it was a very beautiful shock. And I realized that I did not have to have sex with this man and I did not have to exchange phone numbers nor do anything else that I didn’t feel like.
Realizing this was a relief from previous occasions when I would not even dare allow myself to look so openly into a stranger’s (especially a man’s) eyes, because of possible “dangers”.

As the train came to a stop, I told him how beautiful it was to just look into each other’s eyes and he replied, with a big smile, “ciao.” I then left (Actually, I flew!) because suddenly I did not know what to do. When I went up the stairs, I heard a voice behind me: “ciao, buona giornata.” I guess it was him, but I did not turn around- I was so shy about what happened and how much it touched me. This is my diamond of the day.

-Stephanie B.

A Transformational Week-End

Sunday, July 13th, 2008

On Saturday, Artur (my husband) and I headed off to visit his family (brother, Celso; sister-in-law, Steph; niece; nephew; and sister, Idilia.) Now, I have a confession to make: I usually dread these visits. I usually fail to implement the brilliant suggestion Ariel & Shya make about doing things as if they were your own idea. Instead, I usually sit in their living room, or in their garden, and make small talk while I count the minutes until we can leave. For, while I love Idilia very much and am very close to her, the rest of the family I have just never connected with at all. I’ve given myself many reasons for this, reasons that mostly allow the responsibility to fall outside of myself! : we’re so different, we have nothing in common, they’re not interested in me, I’m not interested in them, we don’t care about the same things, they’re boring, they just talk small talk, there is no chance to get deeper with them - no chance to make a real connection… So, every time I would go, while holding tightly to my judgments, my heart closed to any other possibility of what it might be like to be with them. Well, the weekend started out with me still like this, and, as we set off to drive south, Artur and I started bickering a bit, and I realised it was because I was resisting the situation and blaming him for it. So I stopped, right then, apologised, and made a commitment to myself to embrace the trip, the people and choose to actually have fun!

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Poof! It’s Magic: Dropping your story of “This isn’t it.”

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Hello, Friends! Life is so amazing! Four years ago when I was still in the midst of searching for well being, I never could have imagined where I am currently at in this moment of my life. In 1995, I was hired as a receptionist at Société Générale (a French Investment Bank). Two years later, I was promoted to Administrative Assistant (Secretary), and I stayed in this position for the next 8 years of my life. So four years ago, while still a Secretary at the bank, I was a walking complaint. I am also a singer/songwriter, and I was constantly lost in the thought that “This isn’t it! I’m supposed to be a rock star performing at Madison Square Garden! What am I doing here?”

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A Magical Season of Dating

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

About two weeks ago I had the great opportunity to chat with Ariel and Shya about dating. It was an amazing and eye opening experience… I am not sure what happened but suddenly and miraculously I have so many dates!! I have been scheduling meetings in open air markets, cafes, during my lunch hours, at museums, going to play tennis, cooking… And all the guys have been fun to be with! I somehow discovered how to be with each of them, not thinking if they were “relationship material” while at the same time I stopped putting pressure on myself to find “THE ONE”. Ariel and Shya masterfully hit the nail on the head when they explained that I had been conditioned to be “a good catholic girl” through my culture and I’d been approaching dating as a “mini-marriage” in hopes that the date would turn into a husband. The thought of just enjoying myself while meeting many men was outside of my realm of possibilities…I mean ‘What kind of woman dates many men?.. I am sure you and I came up with the same word..it starts with a W and ends with an E.

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Passion!

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

I attended Ariel & Shya’s “Passion: Revitalize Your Life” workshop in January. While I was attending the workshop, my four-year old son, Milan, spent time with his dad over the weekend. When I picked him up from school on the Monday after, he was so completely joyful and confident, having discovered his new abilities: ice skating on a single blade, snapping and whistling. It was so inspiring to see him so full of life and I knew that he was truly connected into the magic that happened during the weekend Passion workshop.

During that evening, Milan and I were hanging out at home and he called to me across the apartment, speaking in his own dialogue of made-up language. I responded back to him in made-up language and we had the funniest dialogue, exploding with laughter. I was so amazed, because speaking in a dialogue of made-up language was actually an activity we did at the Passion workshop! I could truly see how tapped into me he was. I could feel how when I took care of myself and went for my life passionately and without reservations, that my son was directly linked discovering his own gifts and passions, too.

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An Afternoon of Transformation

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Ariel & Shya often talk about how transformation happens when you’re really listening to someone else, because that’s when you take your attention off yourself. It gives me such joy whenever I manage to really listen, because suddenly I notice that I’ve stopped listening to my own (usually negative) internal dialogue. As they say, you can’t do two things at once! And, when I’m not listening to my own thoughts, that’s when I’m in the moment. And when I’m in the moment (instead of in my head), then I’m not working on myself, not being judgment or self-critical. It’s when I’m enlightened!

Here’s a little story to illustrate just that:

Last Sunday I was cycling along the river. My husband Artur, and my brother Jack, were cycling behind me and talking. I was ahead, to be alone but in their company. On the water river-boats floated slowly past us, travelling in the opposite direction.

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Saying No To My Automatic No

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

(From the blog “Halcyon Life“)

Tonight, a few of us had drinks at a midtown spot, Pera. Very nice locale, good wine list, great company. What made this particular happy hour so extraordinary was a simple question posed by my awesome friend, Eric. We had been listening to our friend, Emmanuelle, tell us about her amazing honeymoon with her honey, Luis, in Tanzania. She stayed in romantic camps and saw luscious scenery and took a safari scattered with exotic animals. Listening to her I was thinking, “Ooooh, I would love to go to Africa. Africa’s far. Africa is wild. I wonder how many vaccinations I would need to go to Africa. Oooh, but I really would like to go. But Africa must be really expensive. And I don’t speak the various languages. Gee, it’s too bad I can’t go to Africa…” At that moment, Eric asked a simple, but brilliant question. He turned to the rest of us and said, are you ready for this? “Hey, why don’t we go to Africa?”

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