Today is the Christmas Eve. For my husband Christian and I, this is a very important day in a sense that we love to make it special for our children (3 and 5 years old). Christian and I have the most beautiful memories from our childhood of Christmas Eves; we would like the same for our children and try our best to make it happen.

We have protected all the “big lies” about Santa Claus, the carriage, the reindeers… etc. In the area I grew up in it is the Christkind (Christ child), not Santa Claus, therefore we sometimes have to make up stories to put them together (“well, Santa Claus prepares the gifts and the Christkind helps him deliver them”…etc). Santa Claus also brings presents to adults; he passes by the grandparents’ house, decorates the tree therefore the living room is locked till Christmas mornings. We place milk and cookies in the entrance of the house so that he can eat and once the things are gone (my father in law takes care of that while we are in church), we know that Santa Claus was there. It’s probably more familiar to the Americans than to the Germans, but now you’ve got the idea.

Today, we went to church around 3.30 pm. I had been in a very bad mood this morning, picking on “me”” and telling myself that I wasn’t good enough, I should be in a better mood… etc. It got worse and worse. Then I thought about the video that Ariel and Shya made for Christmas and I remembered them saying that it would be good to just be there and listen to people around us. Something inside me immediately shifted! Suddenly I had attention off myself, my feelings and it went to others. That was just so sweet! From that moment on the day turned into a wonderful day. I lightened up so much, took care of everyone around me and felt soooooooooo much better myself and it lasts!
When we drove back home from church that day, it was already dark and we were surrounded by that special atmosphere of Christmas Eve, in silence. Our children couldn’t be more excited when I told them that I was watching for the carriage in the sky and we were all looking. I got excited myself although it’s been a long time since I believed in Santa Claus. We got off the car in front of the house, looked up into the sky and I saw something I had never seen before. Something bright and white, with a long tail was crossing the sky from one side to the other very quickly but in a steady speed. Christian and I were stunned. It was really close, really low in the sky. My first reaction was this had to be a shooting star, but are shooting stars so long, so close, so clear to see? Then I thought it must be an aircraft because we live 20km from the airport and we are used to seeing planes. However this was moving much quicker than a landing aircraft. Then I thought it had to be a comet. Christian and I were standing still, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, my 5 year old daughter Luise started screaming with excitement, “Santa Claus, there he is, I can see the carriage, the reindeers, everything, there he is, he’s been to our house already!!!!” She was more than excited, and our sun Arne joined in. Had they ever had any doubts about the existence of Santa Claus, they were removed… I swear, in that special moment I was tempted, for an instant, to also recognize the carriage and everything in this phenomenon. It was really extraordinary (particularly as we didn’t know what it was). The kids ran up to the house, saw that milk and cookies had disappeared and got even more excited. We had the most wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Christmas Eve!!!

The reason I am telling you all this is because it was such a wonderful, special moment and although it is not directly a transformational story, tonight I became fully aware again how extraordinarily blessed I am in my life, how wonderful my life is, how much I love my husband and my children, and I am pretty sure that I owe very much of that to the great impact Ariel and Shya have had on my life ever since I met them a few years ago.

I wish you all the most joyful holidays and look forward to seeing many of you in Costa Rica.

Uli Schu
ps Later tonight we watched the news and they reported that the phenomenon, according to the experts, was a rocket launched by Russians a couple of days ago to dock on to a space station that had fallen back to planet Earth.

Our son Jonathan is here : ) : ) : )  Hurray!  He was born on the 29th of September. He is lying next to me inside his hanging-cot, looking very peaceful. He is very cuddly and sometimes I have a hard time just letting him lie on his own. It is such an incredibly nice feeling when he cuddles into me and falls asleep on my tummy. Up until recently, that tummy had been his residence.

It is crazy: up to the end of my pregnancy I could not imagine that there was a complete human being inside me; and now, I can’t imagine that he had been inside me with all his magnificence. Jonathan is a real gift!!!

In the hospital there was a poster reading “Patience is the beginning of happiness”.  That looked a little like our motto: Jonathan was in no hurry. My water broke on Tuesday at 11pm, then on Thursday at 5:45pm he had arrived.

As I didn’t have spontaneous labor, the birth was induced medically. My previous fear was that I wouldn’t notice when I went into labor.  After the induction, labor started very abruptly and it would not have been possible not to notice.  Jonathan is a little frog, and very nearly he would have been born in the bath tub.  However his naval cord was a little short.  I had to get out of the water and he was born on land.  It was a great birth and all the time I felt secure and taken care of.

Additionally, I was lucky that I was cared for by the midwife, with whom I had done the birth-preparation course.  We were a super team.  And my boyfriend could be there, too.  As he is living 4 hours away from me, we were not sure if he would make it in time.  So everything worked out as it was supposed to work out.

It is ingenious that with all the meetings with Ariel and Shya and all of you, I was allowed to experience that every moment is perfect as it is showing up.  Thus I have considerably more self-confidence and greater certainty that everything that happens is ok.  Based on this experience I had a super pregnancy, was able to organize everything in my practice (I am an occupational therapist) for it to run for half a year without me, and I had a great birth.  Above all, without this experience, Jonathan would not exist.  I would probably still be stuck in my old relationship, not wanting to see my own truth and I would not have met Jonathan’s brilliant daddy-  first of all, I would never have used the Internet to get to know men.  Secondly, in my previous life, Dennis would have been much too young ( I am 15 years older than him).  Hurray for transformation and you all : ) : ) : )

And now, I have the incomprehensible happiness to sit next to my son and marvel at him – wow, wow, wow.

When I read through the lines above again, I have given birth to a little “teddyhumanfrog” which I am incredibly proud of.  And I am proud of Dennis, Jonathan’s father.  He supports me in every aspect while writing his diploma.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I am proud of myself : ) : ) : ) !  This is a state I would not have reached without Ariel & Shya.

Thank you to you all.

The happy Mama,
Tanja

I’m getting ready to take my son to his second day of Kindergarten. Yesterday morning as we walked, hand in hand, into his new school, he looked up and said:
“I can’t believe it! This is going to be huge!”
So true, Laken.

Today I noticed how much I’ve been holding on to the past, and how that has truly inhibited my ability to enjoy my life. And just now I felt, for what seemed like the first time, a relaxation around judging myself for holding on to the past. Because I’ve resisted my old habit of doing so. I didn’t like that I ruminated about events I can’t change.

But just now I felt a new energy around it. The Instant I saw it, I felt transformed. Lighter.
Thanks Ariel & Shya – and to all of you.
And have a beautiful day!

Alex

I have a little story to share.

My daughter is twelve now and cleaning up her room – as well as some other basics – is really a challenge at the moment.

So today I made her clean up her room and I stayed, because otherwise it would not get done.

All of a sudden, she started singing a popular melody and invented lyrics about cleaning and danced and sang while she was cleaning up her room. She had so much fun, she couldn’t stop singing even after it was done . We call it “The Clean-up Blues” now!

Thank you so much Ariel and Shya for showing me how to stay in the moment so I can pass that on to Lilly and she can learn to have fun instead of being upset!

Much Love,
Antje

A few weeks ago, I asked my son Milan how he wanted to celebrate his birthday this year. His answer was such a sweet unexpected surprise!

He said that for his birthday, he’d like to create a Business Meeting with his friends. He would set up an executive table (with tall red chairs) where he and his friends could talk about business. They would then create artwork and posters and sell the artwork in the park. He also may sell “Smash” – a drink he “invented” made of orange juice and seltzer.

What a fun, inspiring idea!

It’s moments like these, when I realize the amazing impact that the Kanes’ Workshops have had on my life, on being a parent, a mentor teacher & how they’ve awakened Milan’s dreams for himself. In the past, he sold “Smash” in the park, but this time he wanted to share his passion with his friends & create a possibility for them as well.

There’s such a sweet mix of fantasy (of what business looks like from a child’s point of view), & practicality (selling something to make money). I was so inspired that I created an agenda for the day!

This weekend, on Saturday, May 21st if any of you are in the Brooklyn area at around 1pm, Milan & a few friends will be at Carroll Park (Carroll St. & Smith St.) selling his “art work”. You’re very welcome to stop by.

I know that he’d love to see you! Me too!

Jodi

I had noooooo idea…..about the degree to which my upsets where running my life. Not the least idea. I came back from this wonderful workshop in Cambridge with Ariel and Shya and of course I had realized that “something” had happened. I hoped for “something” to be different after my return, but I would never ever have expected such a profound difference.

I came home on Sunday night and the first thing I realized on Monday morning was the trigger of an upset. It was like a little “beep” inside me, something jumping, but then….nothing. A few moments later the next little “beep”. And the day went on like this. I was flabbergasted by the sheer quantity of little triggers throughout the day. I didn’t count but there were MANY of them. And for the first time I understood what Ariel and Shya mean by “mechanic behavior”!!!! Because it just happens at a trigger, but the trigger is no real reason. I used to get upset about a thousand things that are no “real reasons” or justifications to get upset. It hurt a little to see that I have also “considered” my children to be a cause of upset. This week I’ve actually been able to be with my kids and weather through difficult situations without getting upset. It is actually almost a strange feeling. It feels as if I had been drugged or doped. Tranquilizers or something. It’s so funny because there is even a kind of a little man inside myself (I picture it that way) really furious about me not getting upset. And it’s also sometimes even leaving me a little uncertain. I am in a traffic jam. I don’t get upset. What am I going to do??? .

Two events happened that really made me cry. Christian, my husband, came to me yesterday and started talking to me about some renovation work in the house he would like to do. This would have been a supermegatrigger!!!!! A little “beep” but that was it. We spoke about his proposal AND I realized that it is also much easier to express my concerns and put forward my arguments when I am not upset. After we finished, Christian left for work but not without kissing me several times. His RELIEF was sooooo obvious because for once I reacted to the topic without anger…..It was so touching for me. The second thing was that last night when we were about to bring the kids to bed, Christian expressed something that I had realized throughout the afternoon already. He said: I don’t know what it is, but Luise (our daughter) looks particularly pretty today. And he was soooo right. She has full cheeks with that nice little color and she is really shining. Needless to say that the kids have been very relaxed these last couple of days.

I could keep on writing to you all about all the beautiful things that happened this week. I can’t tell you often enough how grateful and humble I feel for what has happened to me. I have heard Ariel and Shya say often that people can’t imagine what is possible for them just because they can’t imagine what they don’t know. I did not believe it. Now I do. Full stop.

Wishing you a wonderful day, wherever you are,

Uli (from Colgne)

On the way to my room to get my luggage before heading home, I ran into Ariel and Shya on one of the beautiful covered walkways and we started chatting.  When I outlined my dilemma, they pointed out that what I was actually doing was to ask my daughter for her permission to go to Costa Rica again and that it is I who is the mother who needs to say what’s going on – not vice versa. They said that I was trying to be Ayla’s friend instead of her mother.  It was not long before I discovered how true this really had been.

When I got home I found an eye-opening letter in the mailbox from Ayla’s school saying that she would be getting some 5’s and 6’s (which in the German school system is the equivalent of an F – it’s 1-6, 1 being an A and 6 an F) in her mid-year report card and that if she doesn’t improve she would not only be flunking the school year, but she would have to leave the school! This is based on the fact that the German school system is divided into three levels of schools; after fourth grade the children are sorted into different schools according to their grades. Ayla is at a “Gymnasium,” which means she had really good grades in Elementary school. With her language choices of taking Latin, English and Spanish (in this order), she is not compatible to go to a lower school level. I realized it was time that I got clear and took action! I still had my jacket on as well as my “Seeing Power” from Costa Rica when I called Ayla’s classroom teacher, spoke with her father and got an appointment with the school counselor.  We went through many different options, one of which was boarding school, which I found out I can’t afford. But the bottom line was: Ayla was not doing her work.

I reached out to get support and the best support I found was Ariel and Shya who said:

There needs to be consequences to her inactivity, just like gravity.  You don’t need to be “strict” or use force or be angry.  Just consistent.

So Ayla and I sat down and wrote down our plan of action and we found two great tutors for Spanish and Math/Physics. For every 5 or 6 she gets on a test, she has to stay home on the evenings of two week-ends… and in case she gets a 1, she gets to have one of the evenings back. Now she has a list of all grades she gets on her wall and I check her vocabulary and homework regularly.

So, like gravity I made sure we both stuck to this program. Even before she started with tutoring she got her first 1 in math! From a 6 to a 1. She hasn’t had a single 1 in math since starting at the Gymnasium! And that was not a one-time thing. She has been getting good grades in all sorts of classes like Chemistry and English. There was also an 5 in Latin, and when she and her friend tried to get me to let her meet up with some classmates at the café on one of the stay-home evenings, I was like gravity. No anger or upset, no feeling sorry for her or myself because I had to say no. Unaccustomedly I didn’t even feel guilty. We even laughed at all the funny ways they tried to get me to give in and we actually had some fun. That was not how I had expected it to be. The second week-end turned out to be one day less, because she got herself another 1.

I can’t say I understand this, but I do believe that just being honest with myself and seeing how I have tried so hard for my daughter to like me, instead of dealing with the possibility of her being angry at me, has helped. It took a few days of upsets from Ayla, maybe a week, for her to realize that this is how things are now and you know what? Our relationship has actually gotten a lot sweeter.

By the way, I signed up for Costa Rica 2011 while in Costa Rica this year without asking my daughter for permission, and have already paid my first deposit so that I can profit from the early registration discount. I invite you all to join me next year and if you sign up by April 26, 2010 and pay your first third you will also get the discount. It is so fantastic!

Sandy S, Munich, Germany