I read it for the first time about 6 years ago.  I had spent about 2 years in the Self Help section.  I was getting a little sick of self help.  I always wondered “why do we need healing?”  But, I was addicted to self help books.  I recall leaving my Manhattan apartment thinking along those lines, but I felt I needed a book. I didn’t know where I was going, but I ended up at a bookstore, “East West Books”.  It is now gone, but it was a great store at the time I went.  I recall standing in the large bookstore thinking “What am I doing here?  I’m sick of self help books!”  I remember being nearby the psychology section and Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work was on fire, practically jumping into my hands!  The Kanes’ other book, entitled at the time, Working on Your Relationship Doesn’t Work, also wanted to jump into my hands, but I wasn’t ready to get my first relationship book.  By the way, since then, it’s been revamped and the current title is How to Create A Magical Relationship I’ve read it a few times now and it’s awesome.

Anyway, Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work really spoke to me and it was very easy to read.  Everything in there felt like something obvious, that I already knew but hadn’t really put together.  I loved it!

I loved it so much I looked Ariel & Shya Kane up on-line.  I signed up for their email list.  I then wondered to myself if they ever come to NYC (almost EVERYBODY comes here at some point).  Well, low and behold, they are in the area and have $20 workshops almost every Monday night!  It still took me a while to get to one, about 6 months.  I just had other priorities at the time.  I finally went, and my life transformed, in one evening!  I don’t remember much, except that someone spoke about work and it was apparent from the conversation he had with Ariel & Shya that he wanted a “better” job because he didn’t think he should have to do administrative tasks in his Computer Programmer job.  It was a brief interaction, but whatever Ariel & Shya said transformed MY work life.  Instantaneously, I no longer complained about data entry or other administrative tasks I sometimes do in my professional life.

Well, that sparked me to re-read Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work a second time, just 6 months after I read it the first time.  It was still awesome.

I read the articles of the month and everything that came with the newsletter (now called The Excellence Club). Yet, for whatever reason, I hadn’t made it back to Monday Night Alive.  I simply always found something else to do on any given Monday.  I wanted to come back, and thought about it often, but I just always found something that appeared better to do.

I finally made it back.  Almost a year had elapsed since I attended that first Monday Night Alive and read Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work for the 2nd time.  I was amazed to see some of the same people that were there the last time I’d been!  I was inspired that night to go home and read this wonderful book for a third time!  It was fresh, new and as wonderful as the first 2 reads!

I’ve re-read it in its entirety a few more times since then.  I also use it as a reference to read about a particular topic sometimes.  I almost never re-read books, there’s too many unread books on my reading list.  Yet, I keep coming back to the Kanes’ books and I’m always happy I did.  I also now regularly attend their workshops and almost never miss a Monday Night Alive.  My life keeps getting better and better as a result.

There are two more apartments in the building, one with a young men and the other with my landlord. He is a kind, supporting and very open person. I felt at home here right from the very first moment and we had some nice conversations.

This afternoon, back from my New Year’s Eve trip, I went down to my landlord to wish him a happy new year.  He invited me to come in and we started talking. I told him that I would go to Costa Rica for two weeks and asked him if he would take care of my flowers and my mail. He happily agreed. We talked about a lot of different things and he mentioned the present moment and how wonderful and rich life is. I was about to talk about transformation when he said “You know, I’m reading this really interesting book with wonderful ideas, it’s called ‘Living in the moment’”. He went out of the room and came back …. with Ariel & Shya’s book ”Working on yourself doesn’t work” (“Living in the Moment” is the title of the German edition). This is so incredible!!! I told him that I was going to Costa Rica with these guys, Ariel & Shya Kane, who wrote the book, I shared my experience with transformation and invited him to the next phone session.  We continued to talk for quite a while, both pretty excited about the situation, and he said it was no coincidence that it was me moving into the apartment.

Life is oh so incredible and full of wonderful surprises!!!

Much love
Karin

PS: Please feel always invited to stay with me whenever you’re in Cologne area: There’s a home waiting for you

We are having a BRILLIANT time in Cambridge. We are even starting to sound a bit like the Britts
Our course this past weekend was so profound. By Sunday afternoon people were spontaneously popping into their brilliant selves. It was inspiring to see and be a part of the fun.

If you are available or have friends in the area, don’t forget to come and invite folks for our talks in Cambridge tonight and London on Friday evening. By the way, many of you have indicated that you are coming to one or both of these events and if you are, don’t forget to register! Here are the links:

Cambridge for Wednesday Night (tonight):
http://www.josephcloughtrainings.co.uk/personalsuccessgroup2.html

London College of Spirituality for Friday Night:
http://tinyurl.com/35l9vkn

Looking forward to seeing folks there and also seeing the NY/CT/NJ gang at Monday Night Alive! on the 26th and talking with the International Community on the 27th. The more we are out here in the world, the more we are impressed with you all and feel honored to be a part of this incredible transformational community.

Sending our love from Cambridge… Pip Pip and Cheerio!
Ariel and Shya

P.S. Our friends Arne and Ralf have invited Arne’s cousin Ann for YEARS to courses in Hamburg and the US and she finally attended in Cambridge and WOW – she LOVED it. It sure is worth it to keep extending yourself to folks. Don’t quit. Keep going.

Today we have been so productive and everyone we have spoken with: client, coach, stranger, friend  have all been touching to speak with. We are off to record a radio show now but find ourselves wanting share with you what we have been feeling which is that: Life is Grand!

We posted the video of our Boston Television interview from last week on Facebook (a social networking site that is really great and you may want to join if you are not on already) but realized that many of you may not have seen it so here it is again: http://tinyurl.com/6yhkrg

Thanks for being in our lives and part of this great community.

Love,
Ariel and Shya

Enjoy,
David H

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Let’s talk about being in the moment. Let’s talk about enlightenment or Self Realization or transformation. Most people see these things as esoteric endeavors that require thought, intentionality and work that is arduous and difficult. The prevalent idea is that Self Realization can only be approached at special times under special circumstances and in special environments, such as in meditation centers, workshops or retreats. However, there is the possibility that these esoteric pursuits can not only be engaged in, but also achieved in the ordinary course of our lives, during every day activities. Since most of our days are occupied by our professional careers or work, it is possible to use this time to discover how to be in the moment and live one’s life in a transformed, Self Realized way. It has been said that it is easy to become enlightened on a mountain top but difficult in the marketplace. In today’s world, the office can be equated to the modern day marketplace. We are of the opinion that Self Realization need not be difficult and that it is possible to become aware doing the ordinary activities of our lives. Many people approach this moment as if it is not “it”. They see this moment only as a stepping stone to something else. This moment is “not what God intended”. People don’t realize that this moment of now is the only way their life can be and that whatever is happening in this moment is all that can actually be.

If we were to take a camera and photograph you in any given moment of now, when the camera’s shutter opens, you are captured exactly as you are in that moment, and in that moment you could not be any different than you were than when the film captured your image. You may think you could have been different, but in reality, that moment has already gone by. You could only have been the way you were. Most of us do not realize that our lives are a series of moments of now that could not have been different than they were. Along with this series of moments of now, that could not be different than they were, coincidentally there exists an internal dialogue or commentary that, for the most part, is usually in disagreement with the way your life is showing up in the moment. Most of us believe this internal dialogue or voice that uses our name is who we are. Now take this hypothesis to the workplace, to where we go to earn a living and many of us actually think we go to the workplace only for the money that it provides and that it is not what we should be doing in our lives. Therein lies the source of all dissatisfaction. It is the “idea” or “thought” that we would rather be doing something else or should be or could be that causes human beings the most pain.Let’s examine, for instance, the internal dialogue you have with yourself when you take on a chore, new endeavor or new project. Do you use delaying tactics such as going for one more cup of coffee, dreaming of that compelling book that is waiting for you or perhaps watching a “must see” television show? Do you create turmoil around you or perhaps have some good office gossip or intrigue to keep you occupied and away from the discomfort of having to face the unknown? Ask yourself which you gravitate to: a new project to solve at work or an old familiar upset to worry about and work on. Creativity happens in the unknown, the unfamiliar, the uncertain area of being. It takes place in uncharted territories rather than in safe and already known ports. However, our minds operate from the past and from what they already know or have done before. This is safe and certain and secure. So whenever we take on a new project, as much as we may be excited by it, there is also that aspect of our minds that is in dread about the possibility of looking stupid.If you listen to the voice in your head, it will give you all the reasons in the world why the new challenge can’t be done right now or why there are more important things to do or that you don’t have enough time, resources or information to get started.

There is something called the 80/20 principle which says that approximately 20% of what you have to do produces 80% of the results and the other 80% of what you have to do will only take care of 20% of your workload. The only problem is, the aforementioned 20% can be much more challenging and therefore is something to be avoided. So the “busy work” is easier to approach day in and day out and accomplishes very little. And the voice we listen to and believe to be us, comes up with all the good reasons why we just shouldn’t start, and then complete the high priority items.

Let’s take a look for a moment at a conversation we had with “Mary” in a seminar we conducted on the subject of work. Mary often found herself overwhelmed at the office with the workload. She then spent her days creating lists of things to be done trying to organize the work so it would be more manageable. Making lists then became a form of busy work that allowed her to think that something was getting done. Eventually, after we discussed it, she discovered that the lists were just a way to disguise challenging tasks. If it looked like there were 20 or 30 things to be done, a particularly confronting item might be dismissed or overlooked for awhile. Then, if she felt overwhelmed, it further suited her purpose of avoiding the discomfort of confronting what her mind had identified as a daunting project. Just the discovery that lists were a way of losing projects from the stream of her workday into a back eddy was enough to solve the “problem” of being overwhelmed at the office. Now, if you were to be a silent observer in Mary’s office, when her back begins to tighten up or when it seems that there are not enough hours in the day and her boss is too demanding, you might actually see her smile. These former grievances have now become clues, clues to the bigger picture which once seen can release tension and turmoil and strife. They have become an indicator, a flashing light if you will, that tells her there is a project demanding her attention.

In this way, Mary has used her job as a place to discover transformation. When she saw the truth about how she had organized her day, it transformed, instantaneously. Transformation happens when you look honestly at something without judging it or trying to change it. Recently, Mary’s department moved to a totally different city. She became the organizer. Virtually single handedly she garnered the support she needed and coordinated the moving of all 30 executives, secretaries, files and all the other pieces of an ongoing and busy office. Her boss reports that people he speaks with around the country frequently express their wish to have an executive assistant as terrific as Mary.

Let’s look at another myth. A lot of folks are waiting for the “right” job or a more important or special job before they will give their all. The idea is that along with the right job comes satisfaction. In order to have your job be a vehicle into the moment, into seeing yourself in a clear way, you have to realize that this is the only job that you could have in this moment. Shall we test the idea that this is the only job you can have? OK, try to have a different job than the one you have right NOW. Too late. Now has gone by. This means that whatever your current job, whatever your current project, it is all that you can have in this moment and therefore, all that you need to discover yourself in.

We have been taught, growing up in our society, that some jobs are more satisfying than others and that our job, or what we do in life, is responsible for our level of satisfaction. However, no job in itself is innately satisfying. When we ask what jobs people think are the most satisfying, we hear doctor, teacher, lawyer, performer, artist. Rarely do you hear house painter, street sweeper, janitor, cook, homemaker. However, it has been our experience in working with thousands of people in hundreds of different occupations, that no job is inherently satisfying or fulfilling. We have met doctors and teachers, for example, who have dreaded going to work. However, after they discovered how to be present in their lives, work became a place to express themselves and an environment filled with life.

An example of this is “Susan”. When we first met her in one of our seminars, she had spent the previous 18 or so years being a teacher. At that time, she bemoaned the fact that she had another two long years before she was eligible for a full pension. We encouraged her to go to work as if it was the most important thing in her life, to give it 100% of her attention while she was there rather than use the time scheming how to get away with doing as little as possible. Susan is now in her 24th year teaching. She has piloted programs that are now being taught around the country to kids just like the ones in her classroom. What made the difference? Perhaps it was the realization that this moment is the only one and that this life is not just a rehearsal for something better coming down the road. Susan dropped the fantasy that something else would be more satisfying and that the only reason she was going to work was that she wanted to get her pension. Approaching her job with totality, rather than holding out for some fictitious someday, allowed her to rekindle her passion and rediscover her purpose in life. In fact, this enthusiasm for living has infused the rest of her life as well. On New Year’s, Susan was just married. What a different approach once you realize that you are truly going to work because it is what you want, rather than that someone or something is making or forcing you.

We have read that one of the biggest trials a lotto winner faces is often to not be allowed to return to work because the employer or co-workers cannot see why they should continue now that they don’t “need” the money. Work can be a place to discover your creativity, access your genius, and find true satisfaction, regardless of the job.

This does not mean that if you give yourself totally to a job you will be locked forever in one position without a possibility of advancement. Nor does it mean that you will fall prey to a sense of complacency. Far from it. Those people who are operating up to speed are the prime candidates to see and take advantage of opportunities as they come along. Have you ever noticed that when driving a car, even if you have power steering, you still have to crank the wheel to make a turn at slow speeds or in order to park. If you are traveling at 55, however, a slight adjustment is all that it takes to change lanes. Now let’s address another aspect of bringing awareness to the work environment as a vehicle for transformation. If unknowingly you bring with you from your familiar background certain behaviors that are so much a part of the way you are that you don’t realize that you have them, then these behaviors can adversely affect your job and your advancement in your profession.

Frequently, people don’t realize that they bring the conditioning of their lives and their family’s familiar survival tactics with them everywhere they go and that includes to work with them each day. So what does this mean? Well, for example, say you are at war with your father. At work you’ve got a boss, a superior or supervisor. If they are male, they will probably remind you of your father. Or if they are female and of a strong nature, they will probably remind you of your father. Males or females could remind you of either parent. Now, you may not be aware that you are being reminded of one or the other or your parents, but if your response unwittingly is similar to the way in which you respond to your parents, this may directly effect your ability to work in harmony with others. It is not just with bosses for which this dynamic is true. Add in co-workers or subordinates and you bring in the rest of the family dynamic with siblings.

Most of us take for granted that the way we are is “normal”. Rarely do we look to see how the way we are in relationship to others affects our productivity and the productivity of others around us. Take for example “Jenny”, an executive assistant responsible for the work being funneled to and from a top corporate executive. If you were to ask her, she would think that she is responsive and complies with the requests made of her by her boss. She might not see, for instance, how each new request made of her is met with resistance because she doesn’t like being told what to do by men. The fact is, she doesn’t appreciate being told what do by anyone, but she is especially sensitive to directives coming to her from a man. She also has an idea about what is reasonable with regards to what is asked of her production-wise. Her idea of what is fair, which is not in keeping with reality, limits what she is willing to produce at any given time. She is actually capable of producing far more than what she has arbitrarily identified as reasonable. Unwittingly, Jenny had put a lid on her ability to accomplish results in the face of a demanding work load.

“Sam”, on the other hand is totally unaware of how he has alienated virtually all of his female co-workers because he tends to talk down to them as if they are not his equal. When the subject of his demeanor was raised by a female co- worker, he quickly dismissed her as simply being uncooperative, unsupportive and “an emotional female”. His lack of awareness about this one simple aspect of himself will surely affect his possibility for advancement in the company. It is our experience that in order to be the most productive and alive as possible in the workplace, it is imperative that you resist the urge to point a finger at the Sams and the Jennys at the job, but rather to look and see what aspects of “Sam” and “Jenny” live in ourselves waiting to be discovered and transformed.

In the realm of transformation, you don’t have to do anything about what you see, you simply need to be aware that you have mechanical behaviors. Old habits are like ice, and awareness can be likened to the sun. If you hold an ice cube in the sun’s warmth, you don’t need to do anything further. In the sun’s presence the ice will quickly melt and evaporate.

This Friday, October 3, 2008, the new edition of Ariel & Shya’s book Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work: Three Simple Ideas that will Instantaneously Transform Your Life, published by McGraw-Hill, will be available everywhere books are sold!

This book is not only an inspiring read, but also contains the tools to having a brilliant life. We highly recommend it!

Click Here for more information.

To order this book at a discounted rate, click on one of the links below:
Click Here to Order on BN.com
Click Here to Order on Amazon.com

Please share you comments about the book here!